Ninja Parenting for the 21st Century
by Lady Jaye1
Summary: Future AU fluff. It's not easy being an Arashikage ninja master with a murky background involving brainwashing. Sometimes being a parent in the age of the Internet and Frozen isn't easy.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own GI Joe. Also, some of the ideas you see expressed below regarding Storm Shadow's possible children originated in online discussions with other GI Joe fanfiction authors, such as CrystalofEllinon and Karama9. Please see the author's note at the end of the story for more details.

**Ninja Parenting for the 21****st**** Century**

"Taro! If I have to tell you to get off of your iPad one more time…."

Thomas Arashikage, AKA Storm Shadow, narrowed his eyes at his eldest son. He let the threat hang there in the air. Taro, as he should have, stared silently at his father with some trepidation. The Phoenix Master had once, in a notable fit of irritation, banned iPads, smart phones, and all other internet capable electronic devices from the Arashikage compound for an entire week. It had nearly sparked a revolt among the younger generation.

Amaterasu help him…nothing had prepared him to raise children born in the 21st Century. The media had dubbed them Millennials...but Tomisaburo preferred to think it was all a pain in the ass and that his children needed to learn how to survive without checking Facebook and Twitter every two minutes.

It was…not such an easily accomplished task. Case in point…Taro.

"No more internet today," Storm Shadow told his eldest child. "I only want to see you online if it is somehow necessary to do your homework."

Taro scowled, but at fifteen years old, was sufficiently wise enough to know that smarting off to his father would cause more trouble than it was worth. No, it was Tommy's second son and his daughter who had inherited his snark. Taro was more the quiet, passive aggressive type when it came to expressing his displeasure.

"Fine," Taro said. He turned off the iPad and moved to set it on a nearby table. Tommy intercepted it, as well as the small stylus in the boy's other hand.

"Dad!"

"You can get this back tomorrow…and again, I don't want to see you online at all today unless it's homework related. No computer, no borrowed phone…" (His children weren't allowed to get smartphones until they were eighteen.) "Nothing. Understand?"

"Why not tonight? I wanted to Skype with Jack tonight," Taro complained, referring to another second generation "Joe" he had originally met at a GI Joe reunion several years back. "He's in New Mexico and I'm in Japan…we're not even in the same time zone…and it's the weekend."

Storm Shadow hesitated ever so slightly, though he expertly covered it up. He didn't need to show that type of weakness in front of his children. They were all very clever at exploiting said weakness.

"You can be on your computer for one hour tonight and that's it," he finally said. "However, I will check with Charlie or Michelle first to make sure that Jack is even allowed to be online." Spirit and Firewall had taken away their son's internet privileges in the past. John "Jack" Iron Knife had inherited his mother's passion for technology and it had at times landed him into trouble…

Such as the time that he had apparently hacked into a school bully's Facebook account and posted embarrassing comments. Charlie Iron Knife had responded with swift sternness and had banished his child from the Internet for a whole month.

"…Fine," Taro mumbled, knowing that he wasn't going to get a better deal than that. He trudged off toward his bedroom, presumably to sulk.

Tommy sighed and scratched his head. However, he figured that it was all for the best. They were heading back to the United States in a few weeks anyway for a visit. It didn't matter if the family was in Japan or the United States though…there was no escaping twenty-first century technology. It was a blessing and a curse.

"Tough day?" his wife asked. Junko slid her arms around his waist and kissed his neck. Tommy smiled and leaned in to her. His sensitive hearing had barely heard her approaching footsteps. She had improved significantly since her days as a novice ninja.

"Had to kick Taro offline again," Tommy told her, holding up the iPad. "I'm starting to think that this is a losing battle."

"Just change the Wi-Fi code," Junko told him. "That's what Shana and Michelle have to do for their kids." Tommy snorted.

"We're just outside Tokyo...the technology mecca of the world," he reminded her. "Changing the passcode won't work. They'll find some way to get online." This was particularly true since the Arashikage were trying to adapt to the times and train their members in technological as well as martial warfare and espionage. Taro in particular was clever when it came to computers.

Husband and wife stood there for some time, enjoying the intimate company. At least, until they were interrupted by another Arashikage child.

"Mommy…" Ayame wailed, running into the room and straight into her mother's legs. "Kouki took Olaf again!" Junko and Tommy looked at each other for a long, significant moment and then sighed in unison. In Storm Shadow's opinion, Olaf the Snowman should be banished to the same special hell as child molesters and people who talk in the movie theater.

(So sue him…he liked Firefly. Billy, who was an avid fan, had gotten him hooked on it.)

"Tell you what?" Junko asked, picking up their sniffing six year old. Ayame tearfully clung on to her Elsa doll. "How about Daddy goes and rescues Olaf while you help me to sweep out the shrine?"

"…Okay." Ayame turned her tearful eyes on her father and Tommy temporarily forgot his dislike of Olaf. If any of his children had him wrapped around a little finger, it was the six year old wearing a tiara over her pigtails and garbed in the pink princess gi. (Amaterasu help him…she even liked to wear a purple tutu over her gi during kata practice…and he didn't have the heart to tell her no.)

"Daddy will be back soon," he told her.

And so…Tommy's quest to rescue Olaf the Snowman led him to the dojo, where thirteen year old Kouki was sparring with another young Arashikage clansman. He silently watched the two young teenagers elegantly duke it out while "Cherry Bomb" blared over a small set of speakers. Tommy reflected for a moment that listening to the "Awesome Mix, Volume I" for the umpteenth time was preferable to listening to Psy's "Gangnam Style" for the equivalent amount of times. (At one point, Gangnam Style and all parodies of it had similarly been banned from the Arashikage compound. A sane man could only listen to it so many times.)

The Phoenix Master walked over and pressed the pause button on the MP3 player.

"Dad!"

"Where's Olaf?" Tommy demanded. "And what have I told you about antagonizing your sister?"

"She started it!"

"I don't care who started it. Where is Olaf?"

"You want him burned as much as I do," Kouki countered. Well…that was fairly true. Still, Storm Shadow had his fatherly duty to retrieve the Frozen stuffed animal. He continued to stare silently at his son.

"It's…it's training," Kouki said.

"Training," Storm Shadow repeated.

"Uh…well, Ayame is an Arashikage ninja too. She needs to learn how to protect or track down her things."

Well…as far as lies went, it wasn't half bad. Tommy himself had once said a similar lie in response to why he had taken one of his cousin Kimi's toys when they were younger. (Truth be said, it had been retaliation for Kimi coloring over Tommy's homework in red crayon.)

"Kouki…" Tommy warned. He raised an eyebrow at his son. "I just banned your brother from the internet…do I need to do the same to you?"

"…It's in my school bag."

Storm Shadow hit the play button again and "Cherry Bomb" once again began to blare in the dojo. He walked over to the green school bag sitting in the corner of the dojo and fished out a small, plush snowman. He next tracked down his wife and daughter, who were in the small Shinto shrine at the outskirts of the Arashikage compound. Ayame was "helpfully" trying to sweep up a small pile of dirt with a broom that was taller than she was. Tommy stealthfully snuck behind his daughter and bent down.

Looking around to make sure that no one but Junko overheard him, Storm Shadow held out the small snowman plushie. He pitched his voice high, so that it came out slightly squeaky.

"Hi…I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs," the ninja master said. His little girl whirled around with a delighted squeal and dove into her father's arms.

"Daddy!" she shrieked. She clung on to the Olaf toy in one arm, while the other one continued to hug Elsa. Tommy smiled and picked up his youngest child. Ayame curled up in his arms and began to play with her two toys. Junko watched them for a moment, before stepping forward to kiss his cheek.

"Daddy to the rescue."

"No one ever knows that I said that," Tommy whispered in her ear.

"Your masculinity is safe with me, dear," Junko smirked back. She kissed him again and then shooed father and daughter away so that she could finish her chores. Tommy carried Ayame outside and they settled underneath a cherry blossom tree. He watched with bemusement as his child pulled out a few of her plastic, practice shuriken (pink, of course) and began to make Elsa "throw" them at the tree.

"Why is Elsa throwing shuriken?" he asked her finally. The six year old rolled her eyes self-importantly at him.

"They're ice shuriken," the child explained. "She's fighting the tree monster."

"Groot?"

"Not Groot!" Ayame replied back indignantly. "Groot's not a tree monster, Daddy!"

"He's…not?"

"Nuh uh…he's a tree _alien_!"

Aaand Tommy decided not to question a six year old's logic. Instead, he contented himself with watching his daughter run shrieking around the small wooded area. Queen Elsa the Snow Ninja continued her mighty and glorious battle against the "tree monsters" while Olaf followed obediently along.

"Hey kiddo, can I play?" he asked after a while. Ayame ran back to her father and crawled into his lap. She pulled the plastic tiara off of her head and placed it on Tommy's head.

"You can be Sailor Moon," she told him seriously. Tommy fought back a smile.

"Uh huh…and are we still fighting the tree monsters?" he asked. Ayame nodded her head.

"Uh huh. We have to rescue Totoro from them."

"They kidnapped Totoro?" Tommy gasped in mock disdain. "No one kidnaps Totoro."

With impressive balance and coordination, Tomisaburo Arashikage managed to keep the tiny tiara from falling off of his head for the next thirty minutes or so. He didn't really time how long he and Ayame dodged around the small grove of trees. At one point, Ayame solemnly informed him that Sailor Moon fought her enemies by throwing her tiara at them. The Phoenix Master immediately obliged by (slowing) throwing the plastic tiara as a makeshift shuriken. He took great care not to damage it.

Storm Shadow eventually pulled out his cell phone and checked the time. It was only about 2:00 AM in Snake Eyes's time zone. He really shouldn't text him, but sometimes his sword brother was still up. Tommy turned the phone around and snapped a photo of himself wearing the tiara. He then sent it to his sword brother with the words _"Behold, I am Sailor Storm. Do you think the tiara suits me?"_

He pocketed the cell phone again, not really expecting an immediate response. However, his phone vibrated a few minutes later. The Silent Master, who was also a father, had written a reply.

"_Truly, you are the terror of villains everywhere. I'm forwarding this to Lonzo in the morning."_

"_I will deny everything,"_ Tommy texted back. _"And my children are insane. Elsa is apparently a snow ninja now who throws ice shuriken." _The Silent Master's response was immediate.

"_Tommy…just Let It Go."_

Tomisaburo Arashikage smirked as he texted _"Haha. You're hysterical."_

"Daddy, can we get some juice?" Ayame asked, flopping into her father's lap. The Phoenix Master pulled her into a sitting position on his lap and placed the tiara back on her head. He brushed some dried leaves off of the Elsa doll.

"I think we can manage that," he told her. "And then I'll show you how to keep Kouki from stealing Olaf from you."

"Really?" Ayame stared up at him with wide, adoring eyes. She clutched the two Frozen dolls to her chest.

"Really."

Because hell…his children might be slightly insane…but so was he. Tommy stood up and held out a hand. Ayame slipped a tiny hand into his larger one and together, they walked back into the Arashikage compound. Olaf included.

Even if Tommy did think that Olaf should be thrown into the special hell.

* * *

><p><em><span>Author's note:<span> _

_Brief mention is made of Spirit and Firewall, who I do ship together even though I haven't written much on it. I blame Totenkinder Madchen for this. I thought that any child of Firewall's would at least have some knack for technology, especially with "uncles" such as Mainframe around. (Since this is an AU verse, I will pretend that he is not dead.)_

_The name Ayame comes from Karama9's stories, where she uses Ayame as the name for Storm Shadow's mother. While Tommy's mother has never been named, I have adopted the name with Karama9's permission. I figured that Tommy might name his daughter after his mother. Also, the idea that Storm Shadow's daughter might be really girly and into Disney princesses originated from an online Twitter discussion with a few other writers. In my mind, Storm Shadow's family primarily lives back in the Arashikage compound in Japan, but they also make frequent trips into the United States and thus are exposed to both American and Japanese culture._

_Kouki (pronounced Kooh-kee) isn't used for any reason in particular, other than I like the name. I believe CrystalofEllinon originated the idea of using Taro for one of Storm Shadow's children. _

_I'm a bit hesitant to write next generation OCs sometimes. In this case, I went for it because my primarily focus was on how a 1980s-1990s GI Joe character might struggle to adapt to raising children (especially ninja children) in the 21__st__ Century age of Internet memes, smartphones, and pop culture such as the Frozen phenomena and the Marvel movie universe. _

_So…this was the result._


End file.
